The College Essay

Hey, hey you kid...what do you want to be when you grow up? Are you going to college... UC, Cal state or community college? Well, English 12 can be of help--if you let it

The UC system requires that you write a personal statement....have you started? Are you stuck? Click here for ---> Personal Statement Help. Essentially you are asked to write an essay of about 1,000 words that addresses two prompts.  Remember, this essay is NOT a war story, but shows how you have overcome adversity in some way. You are essentially selling yourself. You want the college to see you as an asset to their college rather than a liability.

The UC Prompt:

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family,  

     community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped  your dreams and aspirations.

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is   

      important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment

The Cal State does not require you to write an essay, but there is an essay portion on their placement test. Even though the essay we will write in class does not specifically address the Cal State prompt it can help formulate a possible response. 

Community Colleges also do not require an essay for entry, but you will have to take a placement test just the same. Writing an essay will not hurt you; it might make you miserable for the length of time it takes to complete the essay, but won't hurt you.

So, how would you approach the topics? Let me first mention what you should NOT do:

• Do not just list a resume of accomplishments.
• Do not create a fictional self and write what you think the reader would want to hear.
• Do not write an unfocused mess.
• Do not speak in vague generalities.
• Do not try to include all your memorized SAT words.
• Do not turn in an essay that has not been carefully reviewed, edited, and proofread.

Instead, follow these guidelines:

• Focus your essay. If it’s too broad and all-inclusive, it will sound like a list.
• Prove your overall thesis with evidence, such as detailed events, examples, facts, quotations. Convey your personality by giving your reader some insight about what your world and experience have been.
• Be specific with this evidence. Don’t just keep saying vague generalities, such as “I am a leader, because I know how to lead people . . . blah, blah, blah . . . .” Instead, here’s a great example that got one girl into UC Berkeley: “Over the last two years as S Club president, I learned that leadership responsibilities include making others accountable. When several members who had committed to the Relay for Life said they couldn’t attend the Relay, I told them, ‘That’s okay, but you will have to get someone to take your place instead.’ That was the year our team expanded from eight members to fourteen, and we raised over $1,500 to donate to the American Cancer Society.” Notice how Bethany used details to develop her claim about leadership.
• Follow all instructions.
• Allow the prompt itself to be a mini-outline. Include all the parts requested in the prompt.
• Be yourself, but be the best of yourself there is. Show your humor. Use imagery and creative language.
• Be accurate. If you don’t fully remember details about a historical figure or fictional character, do research before you write. This is NOT first draft writing — the reader will expect time and care put into this essay.